How can I help my kids deal with the Christmas this year?
October 11th, 2009 Posted by: admin
Two of my four children live with me, the older two live on their own. All of them are having a hard time coping with the fact that I am not going to be in the house they were raised in for Christmas due to a divorce. Their father fought to keep the house, so we are living in an apartment. Their father has decided to do Christmas for his family, and my kids are not happy going there knowing I won’t be there.. This was always a holiday I made special for them. Because were are now living in an apartment we can no longer decorate and use the big tree we always had. Things are quit different for them now and my finances are bad. Does anyone have any ideas what I can do for them to make this a memorable good Christmas for them?
I should mention that my sons are 22, 20, 19 and my daughter is 17. I thought because they were older this would be easier for them and but it really isn’t. It has been the tradition and all they have known since birth for all of them.
By: bobcatlady2u
I should mention that my sons are 22, 20, 19 and my daughter is 17. I thought because they were older this would be easier for them and but it really isn’t. It has been the tradition and all they have known since birth for all of them.
By: bobcatlady2u
Tags: Apartment, Decorate, Tradition
October 11th, 2009 at 11:49
Do all of the things that you used to do for them just do it on a smaller scale.
October 13th, 2009 at 03:03
when my parents divorced we had christmas day with my dad and boxing day with my mom and treated it like christmas day!
it really was like having two christmases!!
October 15th, 2009 at 15:36
Thats Sad
It Happened 2 Me Just I Got 2 Stay In My Own House Even Though Weve Moved
The Firts Christmas Without My Dad Last Year Was Horrible Even Though Im Nearly 17 Im Sure Younger Kids Will Feel The Same…But Just Try And Do Cute Things Like Fill Up Stockings With Little Presents You Know Wrapped Up Indivdually …Choclates Are Always A Good 1 …Means They Have Something 2 Open …And Maybe Something A BIt Bigger
And Have A Nice Christmas Dinner Make That The Focus Im Sure They Will Enoy Just Spending Quality Time
X Good Luck
Merry Christmas
October 16th, 2009 at 05:43
-do the things you used to do but add one thing a bit more special.
-take them somewhere they like.
-bake/cook with them.
-have a movie day and talk about it if you havent already.
either way you do it they have to deal.
October 17th, 2009 at 11:30
It not about how big your tree is, or how many decoration you have up, or gifts you give.
Let them know you love them and will be there for them no matter what, and that should fill a lot of spaces in their hearts that will last a lifetime.
Let them know that your arms are always open for them, and will listen to them and wipe their tears.
Pass your wisdom down to them. Write them a poem or a letter and put it in a picture frame from the dollar store. Guarantee they will treasure it forever.
My daughter bought me a plastic rosebud for 25 cents when she was in kindergarten at a school bizarre, it has been 25 years and I still have it in my bathroom.
October 20th, 2009 at 05:21
Do the best you can with the decorations, maybe make a craft project with construction paper and glue and glitter, those things are cheap, and maybe they will like doing a project with Mom. Maybe a cookie baking session, again it is fairly cheap.Sugar cookies, some runny frosting and some sprinkles would do.
Go someplace like the Dollar Tree for some decorations, I got a red foil tree for a dollar it is corny, but it works for my cubicle at work.
If you can afford a small artificial tree, decorate with a couple strands of lights, < $5, some candy canes from the dollar store, and some of the craft projects from the kids, and some strung popcorn and/or cranberries. Those trees are often more memorable than big fancy ones, especially if your kids are small. I used to teach preschool at church, and those kids were so proud of that scraggly little Charlie Brown tree and those paper chains. They grinned all over themselves.
Be yourself, be warm and smile, and the kids will relax, too, if you are ok with things, they will be too. You probably won’t need to go into any huge explanations about finances, especially with younger kids. Just the matter of fact smiling oh boy, let’s make cookies to hang on the tree will probably do fine.
and if Xmas dinner with all the fixings is too dear, do the best you can. Have an Italian Xmas, they eat pasta on Christmas, so can you. I’m making lasagna for a friends party on saturday, and will have garlic bread and a dessert that I want to try out on them. Make a spagetti casserole. All you do is make a big pot of spagetti, and have plenty of sauce. Put half of it in a casserole, put some parmesan and some mozzarella in a layer on top of it, them more spagetti. Sauce is a dollar at the discount store, so is the rest of the ingredients, do a little research on Italian Xmas, maybe you can do a whole theme for cheap.
Emphasize that togetherness and family is Christmasd you will be fine.
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:05
It is difficult, when families first split through divorce.
When my husband and I first separated, I was quite depressed over having less of a Christmas. Less money, less presents, smaller tree, etc. It was hard not to show that to my children, but I did my best. I let them know I was sad because I was not able to afford as much for them. They really understood, and said it was okay. My children just seemed to appreciate my love for them, and did not make comparisons when they went to their father’s place, (which was far far away.).
If you want to make it a memorable Christmas, perhaps ask them for ideas. Since they are older now, if you let them know how you feel… (that you may be disappointing them)… perhaps they can make suggestions to make it more memorable. Like does someone else want to cook along with you. Anything, to be able to spend time together. That’s what memories are made of.
May God bless you with a good Christmas.
October 25th, 2009 at 15:57
I **** this…Im going through it too…my wife cheated and left..its been about a eyar since I filed for divorce. She has not signed the paperwork yet however. She wants to hang out on xmas and do the family thing that we have been doing for 12 years. But its tough for me. I try to be strong for the kids but I feel as if I need to get stronger to be healthier for the kids so it was better for me to say no to celebrate xmas together. I did not go to thanksgiving eitehr. I am their sole provider really…I am a single father and she is really barely around. She gets them every other weekend and that is it.
But its tough…I know how you feel…it crushes you. but in my case I need to get stronger and being around her even now will only make me weaker. And I know ppl say do it for the kids…easier said then done.
I also have the house. I bought her out of it…this is a good thing for the kids and somehting I did for them. If it was up to me id sell it fast since there are soooo many memories there. But at least on xmas they can wake up in the same house the are growing up in since birth really. Love them as you usually would have….kids suffer the most. Divorce is horrible for everyone but mroe for the kids. I dont know how you ended up divorced but my advice would be to just love them..as much as you can. This is really all you can do